iguanamouth:

iguanamouth:

a lot of people are burned out on emoticons but one that ill never get tired of is :> because it looks like youre being talked to by a friendly bird

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birdicons, for birds


gastrictank:

bee dad

everyonedies:

dictatorboy:

My saint bernard lets the outside cats sleep with him

ARE YOU SERIOUS

everyonedies:

dictatorboy:

My saint bernard lets the outside cats sleep with him

ARE YOU SERIOUS

(Source: protoni)


tearbender:

Sleepy Makoto appreciation post (◕‿◕✿)

lindsaychrist:

doing a math question on a multiple choice test and getting an answer that isnt even listed as one of the choices

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(Source: vinegod)

averypottermormon:

animateglee:

oomshi:

the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both

Well it’s the Bible, not the Straightble, I’m just following the book.

I’M GONNA CRY

peanutbutta:

jesusmcnuggets:

My friend David had his ID stolen the other day
now we just call him Dav 

I’m so mad

unclefather:

i don’t read “uwu” as a smiley face in my head i read it as “ooo woo”

prostitourettes:

why cant i just plug myself into a charger

lllllllllllllletswrite:

i almost got arrested when i was 7 because i was putting that fake snow stuff in plastic sandwich baggies and giving them to all my friends and more and more kids would come to me asking for snow and one of the kid’s parents found it and they thought it was cocaine so they called the police on us and they literally thought that a 7 year old girl had created an underground drug distributing system

me peeing
me: shit son
me: sHIT
me: that water is barely yellow
me:
me:
me:
me:
me: i am hydrated as HELL

kirschtein-relatable:

cedrikaprovencher:

landorus:

i feel like ‘restaurant’ shouldnt be spelled like that

les anglophones volent des mots à d’autres langues puis chialent parce qu’ils ne sont pas orthographiés comme ils le voudraient

IM GONNA REBLOG THIS POST UNTIL I DIE IM CRYING 

(Source: kelvinbenjamin)


catp0rn:

theveganescapist:

guavasaur:

dimedog:

a small cat

a baby

that’s the purriest meow I’ve ever heard

I need to pet this cat

spoopyphilia:

bloodyoathmate:

My mum’s friends at work are having a baby and their last name is watts so they were trying work out a name for it, i suggested 60 and they both looked confused so i said maybe 20 would suit them better 

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